My life before the accident was pretty good. After being released from prison at the end of 2014, I was doing well. I was self-employed and had no shortage of well paying jobs. I could do pretty much anything home construction related. Framing, electrical, roofing, siding, plumbing, painting, drywall. I even built decks and fencing. I had great references and pictures of prior jobs. I was a professional and proud of my work. I rode my 2005 Harley Road King every chance I got. I put a new S&S motor in it that gave me 112hp and 115ft pounds of torque. She was fast! I also added a fairing, driving lights, mini-ape handlebars, shifter, new pipes, new seat and new mirrors. I had a black 2014 Dodge Ram with a 5.8 litre Hemi with a custom bed cover. I played steel tipped darts in a league and captained my own team the "Hounds". Life was good. My personal life was not so good. I split a 2br apartment with this old guy named Al. Things were great then Lorna moved in.
We had a complicated relationship even before my accident. We were pretty much done. I didn't want her living with me. I felt like we had exhausted any paths back. It all came to a head one night. She wanted to talk, I didn't. So I left. But she hopped in her car and was right on my ass. I brake checked her and took off. Came to a 4 way stop. I spun around so we were facing each other. To my everlasting shame I just lost my temper. I was always in control of my emotions. Not that night. I rammed her 360Z, totaling it. I was eventually arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon with intent to do great bodily harm. I wore an ankle bracelet (they cut it off my leg in hospital!) and the court ordered me to pay $13,000 in restitution. When I received my settlement I offered on many different occasions to pay it to her. She wouldn't accept it. Said we are in this together. Pretty soon it is going to be all on her as my money will be gone soon. I figure I will die first so I left her the house. She deserves it. She is the only one that has been there. My fault cuz I cut everyone else out of my life. I didn't know how to deal with my situation at first. Funny how things work out. We were talking about things one day and as it turns out she got what she wanted....me, all to herself (her words, not mine!). I am lucky she stuck around. She said she would take care of me and she does. I'm about as helpless as I can be. I can't use my hands, can't dress myself or feed myself. What a fucked up life I have now. I was ready to end it after it happened. She is the reason I didn't. She makes it bearable. I really don't know what I would do without her. I hope she can stick it out. It is a lot to take on. 7/30/24. It is now January 5th, 2025. Things have changed just a bit. She has convinced herself that I have people come over here and steal stuff........WHENEVER SHE LEAVES THE HOUSE!!! I am thinking she is playing around! Oh hell no! Turns out she actually has nothing but contempt for me...because before my accident I was trying to get her out of my house. I didn't want to be in a relationship with her. She was extremely possessive and insecure and a terrible housekeeper. She never worked the entire time we were together and that's on me for allowing it. Anyway, I am going to take out a reverse mortage when I turn 62 and build an additional dwelling unit to provide an income for myself cuz I am almost at the end of my money and I don't want to have to depend on anyone any more than I have to. She gets paid by In Home Support Services as well as the Vets Administration and doesn't really work much. She has a pretty sweet setup. On a different note, I am excited for this country since Trump won. I know he can fix it with God's help. Will be back when I can. It is now April 24, 2025. The country is headed in the right direction again, thank God! I believe God made this happen and he has a plan for us. As for me personally, my life still sucks. I have started the HELIC (Home Equity Line of Credit) process. I just want to make sure we can stay in the house til we die and Mark can get any money left after the house is sold to cover the reverse mortage. Finding someone to do quality work for a reasonable price made me realize how lucky the people I worked for were when they got me. I did the job correctly and well and was very good at whatever I was doing. If I could find someone like me I would be set!! Lorna is going through it because her youngest son Ian is in jail. It is her belief it is anyone's fault but his that he is in there. He may be headed to Delancey Street, a 2 year program that would be the very thing he needs. He has no structure and no respect for anyone. Narcissistic to the max!! I really hope he goes there and completes it. Taking no responsibility for their actions and blaming others for everything is a common theme with that family. Maybe it's a South African thing. I wish him the best.
Things are so fucking ridiculous right now. I am dealing with Lorna accusing me of encouraging my ex-girlfriend (we broke up in 2007) to come over here when she is gone and take whatever she wants. I am so angry! Every once in a while she does this. She will misplace something and then there is this major conspiracy where I am letting people in here just to fuck with her!! The terribly hurtful things she says cause me to seriously question my safety. I am goiing to try and record her crazy but she tends to speak from a different room. She walks around talking to herself all the time. I can listen to her talking herself into believing what story she has made up. It is fucking creepy. On top of all of this I am late on my property taxes. I paid half but don't have any money left. Of course since I have to rely on her I will probably lose the house cuz she can't be responsible. I am scared that if I fire her the state will move me into a home. I have to find a caregiver willing to live here and use their money to upkeep the house. In turn I will give them the house when I die. Seems like a fair trade. Seems to have blown over. I really don't believe she would would intentionally hurt me but she seems to really hate me at times. I tried to talk to
Been a while since I have been here. It is Thursday, June 5, 2025. 7:25am. I have a blockage in my intestines, had it for some weeks now. At least 7 or 8. Trying to get to the VA Hospital in Palo Alto. I have severe pain on my left side just above my waist. I don't feel pain. Something must really be wrong if I can feel it. I need to get to the hospital but it seems like Lorna doesn't want to take me. She believes she can heal me by giving me laxatives. All they do is take all the water from my system and put it out my ass. I fear if I do not get there soon I will die. On another note, I have been reading the Bible, trying to learn how to get closer to God. I am woefully inadequate at this task.